Week one - Getting to know yourself - Day 3

Imagination and self-image

Prayer to the Holy Spirit 

O Holy Spirit, inspire me. God’s love, engulf me. Holy Mary, my Mother, guide me in the right ways, look at me, and together with Jesus, bless me. Keep me from all evil, from all delusions and all threats. Mary, The Spouse of the Holy Spirit, obtain for me the grace of getting to know myself, repenting, and discovering the true image of myself. Amen!

The Word of God 

“She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to what he was saying. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, ‘Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me.’ But the Lord answered her, ‘Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.’” (Lk 10:39–42).

Meditation 

It’s interesting that everyone has a desire for perfection. Etymologically, the word “perfection” refers to the state of being complete. Some of the synonyms of perfect include ideal, excellent, and flawless. It is interesting that in Greek culture, i.e., in the lan- guage of the New Testament, this word means something complete, harmonious, and total. So, our culture emphasizes acting without flaws and Greek culture the final effect. It is important since, bearing this in mind, we may ask: Is it possible to live without making mistakes? On the one hand, learning from mistakes allows us to become more perfect; on the other hand, it’s not possible to avoid making mistakes. Accepting failures is a necessity so that we could cooperate with God’s grace to bring to the end God’s work in our lives. God doesn’t want our flawlessness; He wants us to persevere to the end. Seeing yourself from the angle of your mistakes is a trap that stimulates our thinking in a way God doesn’t like.

Unfortunately, sin affected all spheres in humans: it brought about the suffering of the body, broke original relations, influenced our emotions (people experience fear that has never been felt before), and infected our way of thinking. From the moment of original sin, humans appeared to tend towards evil due to weakened will. In this state, we hear the call for conversion, which is mainly about changing our way of thinking at first. It means, therefore, that this applies to the sphere of our notions, the way we perceive reality, and thus our ideas and imagery.

Each of us has some ideas. They are an integral part of our psychic nature. They relate to various spheres. Today, we want to tackle the subject of ideas about ourselves. It’s not a problem that we imagine different ideas about ourselves, but that we are so bound to the belief that only they are correct. We want to look at this subject from a different perspective to cast a new light on life.

In asceticism, it is essential to examine your ideas and where they lead you. The goal of asceticism is to verify the ideas in such a way that you undo their distortions, which means you will not perceive reality from the angle of your subjective sensations, impressions, fears, and emotions, but you will see it as God sees it. You can see it most clearly when something throws you off balance. The spiritual life reveals that the problem is not in some events but in our idea of what is happening then. The death is not bad, but our idea of it may be. The disease is not bad, but our idea of it. The defeat is not bad, but our idea of it, etc. Christian path leads to freedom regarding these events because we free ourselves from suffering that is not intended for us by God. The disciples going to Emmaus experience the disappointment of their life and repeat: “but we had hoped.” Their idea of the Messiah who would win was ruined. However, it didn’t mean real-life failure; it only showed the illusion they got into thanks to their ideas. Only after Christ, whom they weren’t yet able to recognize, interpreted the prophecies about himself, gradually did they let their ideas go and began to look at them in accordance with the Scripture. It was their way to overcome the crisis.

So we need to build an image of ourselves free from our experiences—sometimes they may be helpful, but sometimes they may be bothersome.

Furthermore, we should also be aware that as a result of ideas, there may appear specific emotional responses in us. To be a free man means knowing how to control our reactions. Then, they don’t control me, but I control them. I am not their slave, but I have control over them.

The above-mentioned ideas and others like them are formed by our imagination. We need to understand how useful it is and how it can disturb us. Because the soul is connected with the body, it requires the language of imagery—that is why the Lord often spoke in parables. But for the imagination to serve good, it should be led by common sense and enlightened by faith. Otherwise, it distracts us from godly things and induces us into unimportant minutiae. Often, there may occur struggles in reining it, especially during fatigue, but with the help of grace, we can discipline it. The deeper people immerse in God, the less they pay attention to the things conjured up by the imagination, which is, in turn, more submitted to reuniting with God.

That is why you need the asceticism. On the one hand, it leads to the experience of our fragility in various domains where we expect to be strong. Yet this is a blessing because it shows me that I cannot improve myself, that there is a reality against which I am helpless and where I am entirely at the mercy of God. When in the ascetic effort, I reach my limits, I can continuously surrender to what surpasses me—to God, who is limitless.

Mary’s asceticism: Mary’s eyes are fixed entirely on God. With all her desires and yearnings, she is focused on Him. It is consistent with the ultimate goal of human life. In Mary’s life, nothing contradicts or distracts her desires and attention, but she seeks God’s will in everything that happens.

Spiritual struggle: what does it consist in? Not to succumb to the false belief that my happiness depends on how fully I satisfy my needs and desires.

Spiritual reading 

“MY CHILD, you can never be perfectly free unless you completely renounce self, for all who seek their own interest and who love themselves are bound in fetters. They are unsettled by covetousness and curiosity, always searching for ease and not for the things of Christ, often devising and framing that which will not last, for anything that is not of God will fail completely. Hold to this short and perfect advice, therefore: give up your desires and you will find rest. Think upon it in your heart, and when you have put it into practice you will understand all things.” 

Thomas à Kempis, The Imitation of Christ, Book III, chapter 32, 1

“If we would possess Wisdom, we must mortify the body, not only by enduring patiently our bodily ailments, the inconveniences of the weather and the difficulties arising from other people’s actions, but also by deliberately undertaking some penances and mortifications, such as fasts, vigils and other austerities practised by holy penitents. It requires courage to do that because the body naturally idolises itself, and the world considers all bodily penances as pointless and rejects them. The world does and says everything possible to deter people from practising the austerities of the saints. Of every saint, it can be said, with due allowances, ‘the wise or the saintly man has brought his body into subjection by vigils, fasts and disciplines, by enduring the cold and nakedness and every kind of austerity, and he has made a compact not to give it any rest in this world’ (cf Rom. Brev. St. Peter of Alcantara). (…) For exterior and voluntary mortification to be profitable, it must be accompanied by the mortifying of the judgement and the will through holy obedience, because without this obedience all mortification is spoiled by self-will and often becomes more pleasing to the devil than to God. That is why no exceptional mortification should be undertaken without seeking counsel.” 

St. Louis de Montfort, The Love of Eternal Wisdom, 201‒202

Homework 

Today, I will ask for the light of the Holy Spirit to understand that I don’t need to desire and wish for everything I see, what touches me internally or attracts me. My life depends on God, not on fulfilling temporary desires. 

Prayer of consecration 

I am all Yours, and all that I have is Yours, O most loving Christ, through Mary, Your most holy Mother. Amen!