Week one - Getting to know yourself - Day 4

Memory

Prayer to the Holy Spirit 

O Holy Spirit, inspire me. God’s love, engulf me. Holy Mary, my Mother, guide me in the right ways, look at me, and together with Jesus, bless me. Keep me from all evil, from all delusions and all threats. Mary, The Spouse of the Holy Spirit, obtain for me the grace of getting to know myself, repenting, and healing of my memory. Amen!

The Word of God 

“You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from far away. You search out my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways. (…) Your eyes beheld my unformed substance. In your book were written all the days that were formed for me (…) Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. See if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Ps 139: 2‒3, 16, 23‒24).

Meditation 

Freedom is a gift we got from God. Thanks to it, we can make decisions. We often don’t realize how much depends on our conscious choices. We make them in the present, but they lead us towards the future and stem from our history, experiences, and, thus, the past. So, we can see how crucial it is to be conscious of our past since it influences our present decisions. The memory has a key role here.

On the one hand, the memory may rouse gratitude. The psalmist says: “When I think of your ordinances from of old, I take comfort, O Lord” (Ps 119:52). The memory helps us then to live in grace, to incessantly feel grateful to God, and not to lose sight of what God has done for us. It strengthens our faith, trust, and confidence that God guides us.

On the other hand, memory may be affected by different difficult and traumatic experiences. As a result of original sin and many of our sins, we recall different forms of evil—wrongs inflicted by relatives and close friends, harsh words that we heard and we haven’t forgiven yet. Sometimes, one harsh word makes us forget about many of our positive experiences. Often, these are the moments we would rather delete from our history and forget about them. We need the healing of our memory of the past, which sometimes is an unconcluded chapter that returns to us in many ways and torments us. We may feel the fear of confessing old sins and the shame of the past—sometimes so great that we begin to be afraid of whether God would love us despite the history of our lives and whether He would get us back on track. God answers: “Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; do not be discouraged, for you will not suffer disgrace; for you will forget the shame of your youth, and the disgrace of your widowhood you will remember no more” (Isa 54:4). “Your eyes beheld my unformed substance. In your book were written all the days that were formed for me, when none of them as yet existed. How weighty to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!” (Ps 139:16‒17). Focusing only on these difficult experiences, we forget about God. This is the greatest wound of our memory. The memory given to us by God to remind us about what is the most important makes us turn away from God. “Do not forget the works of the Lord!” We give thanks for the personal gifts, starting from our lives. Remember also how much God did for our nation. By forgetting about God, we also forget about eternity. A wounded memory limits us only to what is happening in this life. We look at life horizontally—seeing only the past, the present and the future. And we forget that in this moment, here and now, a vertical line connects me with God in eternity. Conjuring this memory about eternity and constant connection with God in my here and now is part of healing my memory. “In all you do, remember the end of your life, and then you will never sin” (Sir 7:36). It is also very helpful to continuously remind ourselves about God’s promises, to have right before our eyes the words of God which touched me and by which God wanted to tell me something.

Memory in Mary’s life: Mary constantly treasured in memory all God’s works and everything that happened. She considered it in light of the prophecies from the Old Testament and the promises God made her. Mary treasures her unceasing memory about God and His goodness, and she relates to Him all inexplicable things that happen in her life.

Spiritual struggle: what does it consist in? Don’t forget about God’s promises, His goodness and love. Don’t allow what you experience right now to knock you out of the Divine perspective. Don’t give in to brooding over failures, wounds, or adverse events in the history of your life.

Spiritual reading 

“How remote and how different are the thoughts and the ways of eternal Wisdom from those of even the wisest of men. (cf. Is 55.8) This great God wished to redeem the world, to cast out and chain up the devils, to seal the gates of hell and open heaven to men, and give infinite glory to his eternal Father. Such was his purpose, his arduous task, his great undertaking. What means will be chosen by divine Wisdom, whose knowledge reaches from one end of the universe to the other and orders all things well? (cf. Wis 8.1) His arm is almighty; at a stroke he can destroy all that is opposed to him and do whatever he wills. By a single word he can annihilate and create. What more can I say? He has but to will and all is done.” 

St. Louis de Montfort, The Love of Eternal Wisdom, 167

“It is vanity, therefore, to seek and trust in riches that perish. It is vanity also to court honor and to be puffed up with pride. It is vanity to follow the lusts of the body and to desire things for which severe punishment later must come. It is vanity to wish for long life and to care little about a well-spent life. It is vanity to be concerned with the present only and not to make provision for things to come. It is vanity to love what passes quickly and not to look ahead where eternal joy abides. Often recall the proverb: ‘The eye is not satisfied with seeing nor the ear filled with hearing’ (Eccles. 1:8). Try, moreover, to turn your heart from the love of things visible and bring yourself to things invisible. For they who follow their own evil passions stain their consciences and lose the grace of God.” 

Thomas à Kempis, The Imitation of Christ, Book I, chapter 1, 4

Homework 

I will live through today remembering that everything I do influences my path to heaven and meeting with the Lord. 

Prayer of consecration 

I am all Yours, and all that I have is Yours, O most loving Christ, through Mary, Your most holy Mother. Amen!