Week one - Getting to know yourself - Day 5
Fears
Prayer to the Holy Spirit
O Holy Spirit, inspire me. God’s love, engulf me. Holy Mary, my Mother, guide me in the right ways, look at me, and together with Jesus, bless me. Keep me from all evil, from all delusions and all threats. Mary, The Spouse of the Holy Spirit, obtain for me the grace of getting to know myself, repenting, faith and trust in God. Amen!
The Word of God
“I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself” (Gen 3:10)
Meditation
One of the painful consequences of original sin was for people to escape. It was the first response after committing the sin. Adam explained it like this: “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself” (Gen 3:10). The fear that arose in man as a result of sin became an obstacle to a relationship with God. However, God was looking for man, and He asked Adam an interesting question, “Who told you that you are naked?” (Gen 3:11). God tried to show Adam that externally nothing happened that could change his image, but there came an inner voice, i.e., the fear, and Adam followed it. This created a sense of threat in man; however, he didn’t actually experience it. Fears are a kind of voice; therefore, the cure is simply to stop listening to what the fear tells us and listen to what God says. In each example of fear we discuss below, we want to discover also the voice of God responding to what we experience.
The types of fear:
− Fear of God: this is the most primal fear in man. It creates false images of God. We discussed them during the first day of our retreat. God answers: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. (…) Because you are precious in my sight” (Isa 43:1; 43:4).
− Fear of seeing the truth about yourself: a man attempts to hide and blame someone else. Asked by God: “Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” Adam replies: “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit from the tree, and I ate” (Gen 3:12). Not only didn’t he take the responsibility, but he also shifted the blame on Eve. Likewise, trying to quit admitting the truth, we may blame other people (it was their fault), circumstances (in this case, I had no choice), or unawareness (I didn’t know). This kind of escaping deforms the conscience and makes us lose sensibility to God, goodness, and truth. God answers: “Then Jesus said to the Jews who had believed in him, ‘If you continue in my word, you are truly my disciples; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free’” (Jn 8:31‒32).
− Fear of changes: we often seek what is comfortable and a situation where we feel stable and secure. But if we want to grow, we cannot stand still. After the original sin, the human heart hardened and closed to God, so in order to break this shell, we need effort. Frequently, we are afraid of this struggle. We would like to return to our childhood so that somebody can take care of us because life is too hard. But even then, we’re willing to burden others with the responsibility for our condition. Escaping into the world of dreams won’t help. It may only deepen the illusion we are stuck in. God answers: “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect” (Rom 12:2). “Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you” (1 Pet 5:7).
− Fear of freedom: it happens that some enslavement, e.g., an addiction, becomes a sort of excuse. We have learned to function like that, and we can’t imagine a different life. What would our interactions with other people look like if we, e.g., didn’t smoke or drink alcohol? This fear may close us to the grace of healing, as you may be unable even to imagine that you won’t be afflicted. My affliction became the reason why someone noticed me and took care of me. Then, we begin to live in a sort of symbiosis with the fears. God answers: “I will not leave you orphaned; I am coming to you. In a little while the world will no longer see me, but you will see me; because I live, you also will live. On that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you. (…) But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you everything, and remind you of all that I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid” (Jn 14:18‒20, 26‒27). “(…) but those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint” (Isa 40:31).
− Fear of love: on the one hand, we crave love, but on the other hand, we hang on tightly to the self, to our egoism, and we decide not to love unconditionally. Our “self” is still in the centre of our lives when we selfishly seek new sensations in relationships with no strings attached, or we treat others subjectively, using them to satisfy our cravings and desires. We reverse the order: we don’t love, but we need another person to get pleasure from. God answers: “If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends” (1 Cor 13:1–8a).
− Fear of eternity: this is the fear of the fate that awaits us after death. In the face of death, we are all equal. The thought about it casts a light on our lives and brings out the things that are hidden deeply in our hearts. Christ conquered all evil and opened the gates of heaven for us. God answers: “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life. Indeed, God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him” (Jn 3:16–17).
− Fear of people: this is the idol called “opinion of others,” which is always accompanied by concern about what people will think about me. This fear is followed by the fear of being rejected, thinking that I am someone inferior, and the fear of confronting. However, when we succumb to this fear, we expect people to provide us with an illusory sense of happiness and a full life. But the fullness is only in Jesus. He said: “I am the way, and the truth, and the life” (Jn 14:6). Whenever we let the idol of the opinion of others guide us, we delude ourselves, and later, we are more wounded, suffering, and we get into subsequent traps of human expectations due to which we, even more, lose our freedom given us from God. God answers: “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. And even the hairs of your head are all counted. So do not be afraid; you are of more value than many sparrows” (Matt 10:29‒31).
− Fear of living according to the Gospel: we fear that we will be persecuted and will have to pay too high a price for living with God. We are afraid that God acts in a way which is beyond our perception or control. Suddenly, the fear begins suggesting how much we’ll have to lose, and thus, we start having a negative image of God, considering Him as someone who wants to deprive us of something. God answers: “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no evil; for you are with me; your rod and your staff—they comfort me” (Ps 23:4). “Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matt 11:28‒30).
− Fear of failure: this fear puts into our minds thoughts leading to the worst-case scenarios. We start wondering what the worst thing that could happen is. We lose peace of heart, we focus on what’s disturbing us, and when this fear poisons the emotions and the mind, it influences the will to make a decision affected by the fear. So here we have fears of falling into old sins, fears that I won’t belong, I won’t get married, and even if so, I will go through a marital or familial crisis; we are afraid of disappointing our relatives. God answers: “Do not fear, for I am with you, do not be afraid, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand. (…) For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, ‘Do not fear, I will help you’” (Isa 43:10.13).
− Fear of the future: these fears lead us to anxiety about ourselves and our loved ones—will everyone be healthy? Will they get through a hard time in life? Will we handle the finances or cope with a difficult life situation? We may experience the fears that concern us: fear of loneliness, despair, death, disease, or losing someone we love. God answers: “If you sit down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. Do not be afraid of sudden panic, or of the storm that strikes the wicked; for the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught” (Prov 3:24‒26).
Fear in Mary’s life: The Scripture doesn’t say anything about Mary’s fears, but it doesn’t mean she didn’t experience them. Even if she felt fearful, she immediately prevailed it by faith and trust in God. Such is the power of faith we can see in Mary’s life—it’s not about not feeling fearful, but about prevailing it.
Spiritual struggle: what does it consist in? In every situation, trust God and the power of His love.
Spiritual reading
“How beautiful, meek and charitable is Jesus, the incarnate Wisdom! Beautiful from all eternity, he is the splendour of his Father, the unspotted mirror and image of his goodness. He is more beautiful than the sun and brighter than light itself. He is beautiful in time, being formed by the Holy Spirit pure and faultless, fair and immaculate, and during his life he charmed the eyes and hearts of men and is now the glory of the angels. How loving and gentle he is with men, and especially with poor sinners whom he came upon earth to seek out in a visible manner, and whom he still seeks in an invisible manner every day.”
St. Louis de Montfort, The Love of Eternal Wisdom, 126
“I have said to you very often, and now I say again: forsake yourself, renounce yourself and you shall enjoy great inward peace. Give all for all. Ask nothing, demand nothing in return. Trust purely and without hesitation in Me, and you shall possess Me. You will be free of heart and darkness will not overwhelm you. Strive for this, pray for this, desire this—to be stripped of all selfishness and naked to follow the naked Jesus, to die to self and live forever for Me. Then all vain imaginations, all wicked disturbances and superfluous cares will vanish. Then also immoderate fear will leave you and inordinate love will die.”
Thomas à Kempis, The Imitation of Christ, Book III, chapter 37, 3
Homework
I will live this day in complete trust in the Lord, remembering that He is constantly with me. I will repeat: “Jesus, I trust in You,” offering God everything that happens to me.
Prayer of consecration
I am all Yours, and all that I have is Yours, O most loving Christ, through Mary, Your most holy Mother. Amen!